Captain’s and First Officer’s Log 20-15-06-30

First Officer: The Starship Arrowstar is equipped, as are all Federation starships, with a full complement of armament, including phasers, photon torpedoes, (several handguns), and a newly-developed test version of a device called a “snark launcher.” This new device is very powerful. It has been known to start wars, destroy friendships, massacre self-images, and kill marriages, and it has a hair-trigger. 

First Officer Enjoying Breakfast-on-the-Road - Montana Galaxy

 

This is evidenced twice so far this voyage by my snarky comments about sailboat people and yesterday’s snarky comments about the creepy Jesus statue. It turns out that the creepy Jesus statue was not in fact Jesus wearing a Batman cape, but is, in fact, a 90-foot-tall statue of Jesus’ Momma. In which case that makes it a perfectly beautiful statue and I apologize to the citizens of Butte, Montana and all the other people who know how badly I put my foot in it. 

Captain: The Mary statue glowing with light at night, standing smack on the top of the Continental Divide and presiding over the city of Butte, Montana is known as “Our Lady of the Rockies.” The vision for the statue originated when a sweet man promised the Mother Mary he would build a statue of her in his yard if she would save his wife, who was gravely ill with cancer. His wife did recover, and he followed through with his promise.

With the enthusiasm of a myriad of volunteers the man’s original idea blossomed into the third tallest statue in the US. Those who worked for six years creating the statue dedicated it to women everywhere and especially to mothers. Anyone, including the FO of Starship Arrowstar, who would aim a “snark launcher” at this “promise made real” by so many willing hands needs his mouth washed out with soap, as any good mother will tell you. Amen.

First Officer: As we travel the galaxies we most often stay at KOA’s, aka the MacDonald’s of RV Parks. They are not great, they are not bad, they are simply a known quantity. They offer everything we need and a bunch of stuff we don’t, and they’re always handy. But sometimes for various reasons we find ourselves staying at small “Mom and Pop” RV Parks. Tonight we’re staying at one of those, “Camper Corner” in Ennis, Montana.  It is a cute little park, about 14 RV spaces with another 10 spaces for tenters.  It is clean as a whistle and the owners are bend-over-backwards friendly.  The laundry room is immaculate!  I found this out when Cheryl said to me, “You can have a nap or clean clothes.  Which do you want?”  I said, “A nap.”  She said, “Wrong answer!”  I said, “Then why did you ask?”  She said, “It was a trick question.”

Captain: By the way, as we pulled out today heading for Ennis to visit our friends, we did notice a railroad track close to last night’s RV park. Fortunately no trains disturbed me last night, but once again I lay awake until two in the morning. This time my sleep deprivation resulted from firecrackers and a thunderstorm, both of which our male Chihuahua Peanut is deathly afraid. I’ve found in the past and again last night that it’s virtually impossible to sleep with a dog on your head. 

End Captain and First Officer’s Log